Getting Selfish

Now don't get me wrong, I am a very caring person or so I like to think, but its time for me to get selfish. I want to be selfish with my own life, passions and desires. I tend to have this thing where I put my "things" on the back burner. Why I do this I don't know. I suppose in some small way I am scared of failure or what people will think or even just change. What inspired me to write about this today my little calendar quote desk thing.

" In nature there are neither rewards nor punishments-there are consequences" - R.G. Ingersoll

When thinking about it it made perfect sense. I need to just take risks, jump.Whats the worst that could happen? I don't succeed but like anything in life I am not stuck in that situation. Change is a good thing.

So upon evaluating my life and circumstance there are numerous parts that need a revamping and dusted off.

Health: Now I know that I am a vegetarian which is a great start on my healthy living journey. The instant I cut meats out of my diet I felt instantly lighter, healthier and happier. But I am no saint I love junk foods and sweets and the instant I start eating I know Ill regret it later. That regret is something I really need to speak with a doctor about, because many foods make me very sick. Ive known this for a long time but put it off. No longer will I put off DR.s and dentist appointments! As for fitness I workout and try, with spring in the air it will make more outdoor activities available which I am greatly looking forward to.

Career: Although I love the people I work with, my current position is not suiting for a longterm role in my life. I want a job that I enjoy going to. I know not everyday I will want to, but I need a position that I can grow and develop in and something that provides me with the tools to continue developing my skills. I want a position that lets me have a life, my life believe it or not is more important than just any other job.

Living: Currently I live out of my car, or at least thats how I feel especially with a 50 minute commute. I mainly live at my wonderful boyfriends but I also live with my parents. I cannot express how stressful it is having your belongings between 2 houses and storage. It really makes things rough when your trying to find the right pair of shoes. This also explains why my car has sooo much crap in it.

Love: As there are few things wrong in my love life, I am ready for the next big step. I love my friends and family and tend to neglect them because "I am to tired" or "I don't have time" and that isn't fair to myself or them.

Life: I have this immense passion for life, I want to do everything and go everywhere. Working with a limited budget makes that very difficult, but I need to find that balance. My biggest fear is waking up one morning all old and wrinkly on the verge of passing on and thinking, what did I do with my life?. When that moment comes and it will I want my life to flash before me like some great film or novel. I want to think how fortunate I was to experience all of those things and to know all those amazing people. I want to look at my family and think I created this, I want to look back on my life with no regrets, but with awe. Of all the things I want to change about my current situation this is my main priority, I don't want to be the old lady alone and sad because I did nothing with my life.

With all that being said today I start making changes.Changes for the better. I don't want to live a boring life any longer